While commenting on Sunday Stars last week I read a post by Lisa, who blogs over at Mumma Scribbles, about leaving children at home alone. Poor Lisa had an awful experience as a 12 year old and now as a mother to young children is questioning what age is considered appropriate, you should go and read her post here.
After reading the comments, where the perceived ‘appropriate’ age varied from six up to 15, I decided I needed to share my own opinions on this matter. But first I just want to go over the legalities with you.
Of course herein lies the problem.
There is NO legal minimum age for leaving children home alone. Here is the link to the government website. It simply contains a tiny bit of information released by the NSPCC which you can read in full here.
Basically it is the parents responsibility to decide if a child is capable enough to be left home alone and to ensure that they are leaving them in a safe environment with food and heat. Until they are 16 the parent is responsible if anything goes wrong and can be prosecuted for neglect if it does.
So what is my opinion? Do I believe there is a specific ‘ideal’ age to leave a child alone? Do I believe there should be a legally binding lower age limit?
Well, To begin with I believe it depends on each individual child and only the parent can make the final decision.
I currently have two almost 14 year olds, an 11 year old, an eight year old and a 20 month old. And yes, shock horror, I have left them all in the house to pop to the shop. I have left my oldest four while I visited somewhere in the valley. I have left my oldest three, while I have been out of the valley for a few hours.
Do I get concerned about them?
Of course I do! I am their mother after all.
BUT
My daughters can all cook a meal for the entire family, not just themselves, they can make hot drinks safely and use sharp knives responsibly. They can change nappies (although they object to stinky ones!), they can bathe a toddler and put him to bed (not that they do these things while I’m out,I’m just making a point). They would act responsibly in an emergency.
My eight year old son walks the 15 minutes to and from school every day, on the very rare occasion he has needed to let himself in, he just watches the TV till someone comes home, which is always within 15 minutes. He can make himself toast or a sandwich and a drink. He has a mobile with everyone’s numbers and knows what to do if there is an emergency.
O is a toddler, of course I wouldn’t leave him alone, I’m not an idiot!
I know I can trust MY children because I have taught them to be independent and are capable of taking care of themselves. I also trust my children not to do anything stupid whether it be purposefully, like sliding down the stairs on a baking tray. Or accidentally, like leaving food in the oven and going out. They are all pretty sensible kids. I have a mobile phone, as do they. We can be in contact instantly, we also have family and friends dotted all around the valley where they know they can go for any reason at all.
They are also completely happy and comfortable to be left.
At eight, or even 12, YOUR child may not be sensible enough to be left home alone. At 14, they still may not be comfortable being alone for hours at a time. There is nothing wrong with that, all children are different.
BUT
What you have to keep in mind is at 16 those children are no longer really children. They legally allowed to leave school and home, they can get a job, have sex, make their own decisions in life, they can enlist in the armed forces (albeit with parental consent) to learn to fight, and kill, for their country which they can then be doing as young as 18.
Yet at 15 some parents still don’t believe they are safe enough to be left in the comfort of their own home.
Seriously?
Surely as parents we are doing a complete disservice to our children if we haven’t prepared them to be self sufficient well before that? How can they be expected to survive in the adult world if they have never been given the opportunity to fend for themselves for even a few minutes?
Do I believe that the government should make a legal minimum age for leaving children alone?
Actually no I don’t.
Let’s say a law was made stating that infants are not allowed to be left home alone. Could parents then legally leave 3 year olds in bed while they went to the pub? So what if they created a law that under 12’s were not allowed to be left? What would happen to all the children of working parents, or parents who have kids in different schools, who are perfectly capable of walking to and from home and then wait for a parent to come home from work? How many families would suffer because one parent (or the only parent) would need to stop working, even though some of these children are in secondary school?
I believe that ultimately it’s up to each set of parents and the children themselves to decide when the right time is, no one else.
So what do you think? Do you believe there should be a legal minimum age? How young do you think is too young to be left home alone?
I’m with you it’s the parent’s decision. Too many things are being dictated to parents lately. We know our children & what’s right for them. I agree on the 15 comment too. At 14 I used to earn pocket money babysitting for friend’s children. I was sensible & responsible. We need to empower our children to enable to grow up to be independent. Great post x
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Thanks love. Empowering children, I like that phrase! xxx
I totally agree with you Katie. As manager of a shop, I have people coming in for jobs and school placements from 14 years old. Let’s start with the school age applicants first; I get 14-16 year olds who are well mannered, polite, organised in thought and action, come in by themselves and talk confidently about themselves and what they need of me as a potential employer.
Once working for me, they find out what’s needed of them and do it well, and are proactive, seeking out things to do if not told.
On the other hand, I have parents coming to me asking about employment options for their children( without them), bringing them to interviews and holding their hand as they talk to me or reassuringly patting their arm (as I am obviously a scary person!). These “children” can be as old as 18.
For whatever reason they behave as they do, the people in the first group stand a good chance of getting a job, those in the second group do not.
Parents owe it to their children to teach them to become independant. Leaving them alone for short periods and trusting them to walk home from school once they have been taught how to be safe are excellent ways to make them self confident but some parents seem to actually want their children to stay babies for as long as possible.
As long as child has full understanding of what is expected of them, what to do in an emergency, what they must do/ not do, there is no reason why they cannot be left.
The person to teach them these things is their parent. The person who knows their limitations is their parent, so no, there should not be government age limits but equally the parents should not create limitations.
Great post as usual Katie , it’s sure to create a stir!
I can’t believe people bring their parents to job interviews, that’s just crazy! xxx
Oooooh I don’t know. Mine are only 2.5 years old at the moment and that thought of this happening one day terrifies me! I am a worrier though. I guess when they reach the right age (I am sure I will ‘know’ when that is) like you say, I will make the right decision. Based on them. One twin may be more sensible than the other! Great post – very thought provoking xx
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This is the thing Jess, each child is a completely different story to the other, even of they are twins! xxx
wow I didn’t know there wasn’t a law! I always thought it was 14! Is that the law that a 14 year old can mind younger children? I am sure that is why I was suddenly allowed to babysit at 14. Such a tricky one though, I am not sure I would ever trust mine to stay home, not because I don’t trust them but I don’t trust that some crazy won’t knock on the door or that something else might happen to them! They are going to have to live with me til I am old!!
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There isn’t even a law for babysitting age although the age for responsibility laying with the parent raises to 18 instead of 16. xxx
Its a tricky one isn’t it Katie, I will leave Jack but never Joe purely because at 9 Joe just isn’t responsible, and is not mature at all, god only know what he would get up to probably they to redecorate of something else equally helpful. Whereas Jack at 14 I feel is responsible to be left now x
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It is tricky, I wouldn’t leave LV for extended periods but I know he’s fine for a short time whereas I know some kids his age that wouldn’t be safe left for any time at all! xxx
I think it really depends on the children. I’ve been using my 16 year old as babysitter from this year and he is such a responsible child. I’m not sure I would have done it with the others though. It’s really interesting that there is no law. Stopping by from Twinkly Tuesday.
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Wow, I’m surprised there isn’t a minimum age that children may be left on their own. I agree all kids are different and will be able to stay by themselves at different ages. Great post, thanks for sharing!
Great post Katie and very thought provoking. I also think it has a great deal to do with where you live and the individual kids. I’ve just started letting my 4 year old go out of the house on her own and walk found to her friends, two doors away, although we always text before she goes! Little steps!
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This is such a recurring issue on blogs and forums and people are always surprised to find out there is no legal minimum. Some people think this is right – me included – for all the reasons you give. Others say the government is letting children down. It seems the lawmakers are damned if they do and idiots if they dont!
The main thing to remember is that as a parent until your children are 18 you are legally responsible for their welfare. So if you do leave your children alone and something happens the law will ask ‘did this adult wilfully put their child at risk’? There are few legal black and white situations – case law is one big grey area that is constantly being tested and reviewed.
The good news is that you would have to do something pretty extreme – like leave your child alone for hours while you went out partying – for the law to consider you had committed a crime.
Gosh I thought it was 13 Interesting and yes should depend of n chidls level of maturity I think
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At the end of the day, it’s totally dependent on the child, I guess. Some kids are definitely more mature than others. And equally some are more ‘childish’ than others.
I have popped to the shop — or to post a letter — and left my boys playing — and they’re only 2!! I certainly wouldn’t go out for any length of time and leave them though!! Totally agree with you that it’s up to the parents to make the call. Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday x
Caro | http://www.thetwinklediaries.co.uk
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I definitely think it’s up to the parents. I havent left my 7 year old, but he would be fine for 5/10 minutes. I used to let myself in when I was in middle school and my mum was picking up my sister. I will judge it by how they are, each child may be different. My sister wasn’t as confident on her own as I was x
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I was working weekends as a teenager and walked to and from school by myself from around 8 or 9 years old. I am with you, I don’t think there should be a law and I agree that as parents we know our children best.
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