Life with 12 year old twin girls is a very melodramatic life indeed. Things never seem to go easy, one of them always feels they are missing out on something or has done a millisecond extra of chores than the other one. They are always comparing grades and lengths of written work.
Don’t get me wrong, they get on great most of the time. if one is home from school, I’m continually asked how long it will be before the other is home. They still sleep tangled together and truly do depend on each other.
But their life has always been a competition right from little, my hair is curlier than yours, but mine is longer, my feet are bigger, but I’m a centimetre taller than you. Seriously they have been competing like this since they could talk!
When they were small it was easier to minimise the arguments, making sure they had identical toys, even books! they had the same clothes, even if they chose to dress differently. We made sure the plates looked the same, I didn’t go as far as counting peas, but it wasn’t far off!
Yes all parents compare, we (and you!) would be lying if we said we never have but we did try to make a conscious effort to not do it earshot of any of the kids. But when we realised quite how argumentative they were we made on thing secret. One tiny piece of information that now they are getting older and I hate to say it more quick-witted than us is getting harder to conceal.
what is this simple little piece of information they are so desperate to glean from us?
They don’t know who is the oldest! there are a few choice adults who are in the know, like grandparents, aunts etc but it has been a secret for so long I’m sure not even all of them remember!
Why did we do this? Because in all the arguments they have had over the years neither has been able to pull rank on the other. Neither can say ‘I’m the big sister so I’m in charge, I’m right, or you have to listen to me… you know how it goes with siblings.
Over the last few years they have actually been conspiring together to get us to slip up. Even though it means that I now have to really think every time I get asked an obscure question by any of my kids, because they have drafted the younger two in as well, I think it is a great thing that they are learning teamwork!
When will we tell them the truth? Probably on their 18th birthday. I have been trying to conceive of a cute way to let them know rather than just blurting it out but I haven’t settled on anything yet.
do you think we are cruel, or mad, or even ingenious to have done this? Are you a parent of twins? let me know how you deal with the twin rivalry thing.