On any other Mother’s Day I would have a bouquet of flowers, some scrummy baked treats and a carefully picked out card ready to take to my mother after the children have finished spoiling me. This year though, my mother has a doozey of a kidney infection (the doctors exact diagnosis!) and is sat in a hospital ward, on a drip with no flowers allowed and she has barely eaten in a week.
Since Wednesday when I saw her tucked up in her own bed a shivering hot and pale body I started to realise just how grateful I actually am for my mother. We are very alike and as such, if we don’t see eye to eye we will defend our corner to the last. I’m sure I annoy her just as much as she does me sometimes. We often don’t see each other for weeks and weeks on end, even though she lives less than a mile away! But even with all that I still love her and am grateful that she is on the other end of the phone if I need to chat, even if she can’t often have my children due to working long hours.
So the last few days I have been mulling over the things I have learnt from my mother, or things that I am grateful for and here are a few of them:
Don’t depend on a man to look after you properly when you are ill! (Okay this might be a case of stereotyping here. But My dad was useless before they admitted her on Thursday. He would have just left her in bed with no water just so she could “sleep it off” , my husband is also guilty of this!)
I’m grateful for all the times I’ve been in hospital during my last two pregnancies and she has helped my husband juggle childcare and visiting around her job.
Learn how to do DIY yourself or expect to wait 10 years for a man to do it.
We are all equal. Even if you have additional needs, learning or physical. people may need extra help, time or equipment but not one person is more special than any others.
Men are just as capable to do “women’s jobs” but you might need to train them till they are at least 40!
How to work out the timings so all the food is cooked at the same time and your peas haven’t escaped their skins while the meat is still bloody.
How to follow recipes and also have the confidence to change them up as I feel like.
Having children young isn’t a bad thing, it means that you can still have a full life when they are grown up and your still young-ish.
Your never to old to learn or do new things. My mum took a biology GCSE at 38 and learnt to drive at 43!
You can change your career at any point in your life. my mum changed from dental nursing to managing a retail store at the age of 45, she now manages a Peacocks store!
To stand on my own two feet and not expect everyone to be at my beck and call.
That I want to stay at home as long as possible. My mum went out to work when I was nine. I was a ‘latchkey kid’ and don’t want that for my primary school age children.
That I would love to be there when my daughters give birth as she was there for me on my first birth with the twins.
I am grateful that my mother worked close and a lot less hours when I had the twins meaning she could help out. She took two weeks off work.
To trust my instincts when it comes to my children and that doctors, midwives or health visitors are not the be all and end all.
I am grateful for her support with breastfeeding. She was told to stop feeding my older brother and put him on formula after a few weeks, she knew how devastated I was when my milk dried up at 12 days
So now I’m getting ready to visit my mum with just a card. Hopefully she will be home in the next few days and I’ll be able to spoil her a bit more. After all, she is the only mum I have, and look at all the things she’s done for me!