Having children is hard, being ill when you have children is even worse, you still have to carry on regardless of how sick you feel. I currently don’t work, I haven’t worked more than a few hours a week since I was pregnant with the twins over 13 years ago. I cannot imagine how much harder it must be to be a working mother and to be poorly. I’m sure many of my readers will feel this blogger’s pain and understand exactly where she is coming from.
This guest post was written by a blogger who would like to remain anonymous.
Being a working parent broke me today.
I called my husband at 5 sobbing asking him to come home if he could. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I told him my three little ones hated me. If they didn’t how could they do this to me.
I needed some help.
A couple of glasses of wine later, I am lying on the couch with pyjamas on. My husband is home, he put the kids to bed, made them giggle and give me cuddles and made me realise that they don’t hate me.
However life as a working mother has defeated me.
I work 3.5 days a week in a stressful job. I have resolved to have two days at home, so I can spend time with my young children, but on days like today I wonder why I bother.
But today is different and I have to remember that. I am ill. My head hurts, my throat aches, my eyes hurt. It’s not flu and I am a mum so I don’t get a day off. I went to work on Monday and Tuesday, as I only work 3 days and so can’t afford to take a day off. It’s a very pressured environment and if I miss a day, I would only have to make the time up another time. This isn’t because I work in an awful place, this is just my work ethic. It’s my job and I need to do it. To this end working 4/5 days would be easier – at work!
I need to work less than 5 days though because if I didn’t, the other jobs in the house would never get done, and the hours we both work would mean we wouldn’t see the kids. I also need some time with them, because I know if I didn’t I would also be unhappy, but you can’t chose to work when they are in bad moods.
Parenting doesn’t work like that.
Today was also worse because I had calls from work I needed to deal with, an important meeting in the afternoon that overrun and nearly made me late for pre-school pick up, and three exhausted under 4’s who are desperate for half term. The combination with me being ill broke me.
This lifestyle I lead doesn’t allow for one thing to go wrong. If everything goes swimmingly I can cope, I can even sometimes go for a run, and make dinner for my husband. But on days like today when it all goes wrong, I am broken. I am tried, I am sad and I am broken! I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I know this is a feeling others often have and I am lucky days don’t make me feel like this every day. So I will dust myself off, probably have another glass of wine, and try again tomorrow!
Wish me luck!
I am happy to say that this blogger is feeling a lot better since writing this but she is right. Working mums or not, we all have days where life just gets too much. Everything gets on top of us and it is hard to shake the sad feelings.
Do you work? Do you have any advice for making those bad days just a little more bearable?